Phi Phi Island.... winding down (or up)

OK so anyway I don't have long left now, and then it's back home. Oh, that's right, I don't have a home... I'm going to be living with my sister, Sarah, and Brett and Will. Oh, and I don't have a car. Oh, and I don't know what job I'm going to be doing. Oh, and I'm single. In fact, must check if even have a job. Oh, and like a million people have gotten married had babies come out gotten pregnant forgotten me.....

.....my family and my lay-dees haven't though. I cannot wait to see them. I'm booked chockablock from the moment I get off the plane Saturday morning (starting with babycinos with my nephew) until Sunday morning (waking up at MBenn's with an 80's hangover)....

All of this should be anxiety provoking, but I'm surprisingly calm.... I have after all:

• covered about 35,000km by air


• covered about 12,000km by land (without a car), and all of it not wearing a seatbelt.....


• walked about 200km of it (I mean trekking before you call me a lazy shyte - I did a lot more walking around as well)


• covered about 1,000km by water


• been homeless for six months


• been robbed


• broken bones with only cups of tea and tiger balm for pain!


• held my own as I've been hit on by creeps seeking visas in practically every country except the US. I mean, I got hit on in the US, but they think they are too good to live in Australia anyway. LOL.


• drunk rum upside down on a bar singing Like a Prayer - and still got home with all my personal belongings and SELF intact - I believe I was a victim of drink spiking (in the form of non-standard pours)


• Jordan. That's all I'm going to say about that.


• nearly been arrested for being dirty twice in one evening


• been offered jobs in countries where I can't even speak the language. And, proper jobs.

I'm pretty sure I now have the resources to take it as it comes. A lot of people will be in Melbourne between now and the end of the year that I've met around the world, so I look forward to catching up with them (assuming I end up based in Melbourne, which may or may not happen... who knows).

Anyway. Thankfully I had the foresight to book a week on an island to deal with all these perplexing issues before I get back to Australia. And it's Day 1, and they've been dealt with, so that leaves another 6 days of good food, sun and massages on the beach. And reading the stack of obscenely expensive magazines in English that I bought at BKK Airport.

Phi Phi Island is the most beautiful island I've been to. Not much more to say, really. I love it.

Knowing a Travel Agent is fabulous. Within an hour of getting here, I met some great people who are travelling similarly to me (mostly solo, mostly on a budget, mostly for a long time) and have been hanging out with them since - of course when they asked where I stayed, I had to um and ah and admit that I was staying at nearly the best resort on the island with a great view, and hot water, and a TV and cable and a big white fluffy bed.... they are all at the cockroach infested shacks a million miles away - while I'm in beachside but away from the noise.... sigh. And they are paying more for the privilege. Heaven. Thank you God....

So anyway, with any luck during my stopover in Sydney, I'll really be able to finish my trip with a bang. The ideal time would go like this:

• Landing an interview at the UN, being given a job on the spot and them relocating all my furniture for me within 24 hours and paying me $1M a year as a stepping stone to being the next Kofi Annan (now, I know there's a new bloke but can't remember his name).


• Shagging someone incredibly Famous


• Eating at the Opera House again on a company account

Hmmm. Pretty sure that I won't be that lucky, and it will be a very quiet time staring at the inside of a hotel room, like a cat on a hot tin roof super excited to get home and see my fam and friends.

Oh, and this is what I'm doing for the next week:

See y'all soon!!!!! xox

Last days in Laos.... and the Thai-Burma railway.

A busy week.

• A visit to Hell.
• Accosted and accused of trespassing
• Accosted and accused of shoplifting
• Delayed flights and nearly missed connections, jumping gangplanks....

Now I've heard "drama queen" mentioned in relatin to my name on more than ONE occasion (not pointing at Shelley and the other w-t-w ladies). But, I'm not exaggerating. I swear.....

This is in Vietniane in Laos, at That Luang. The hottest place on Earth. I believe it is located directly next to Hell. Except for the fact it's pretty and has good food.

How can one lady look so hot you ask? I've been asking myself this every day of my trip. I think the giveaway in this photo is the sweaty brow and sweaty arms... eww. And to think I've spent weeks if not months in this state (Addit: having more money than my first backpacking shenanigans means I can fork out for aircon - and do so gladly. Who needs to buy a house back in Oz anyway, really???)


Praise the lord above for meeting Stella in Vang Vieng. There isn't a lot to do in Vientiane - but once we desweatified at the end of each day, we did hit the many and cheap French restaurants in town, for copious amounts of wine and souffle. And the cafes for cake and coffee.....

And we found this odd Buddha Park about 30km out of town (in a tuk tuk is a bloody long hot dirty sweaty way I can tell you).....

Stella and I agree that this is the biggest buddha we've ever seen. Size matters.

It was where iconography and ideologies collided in concrete and moss:

I was wrong before. The buddha park is next to hell, as it was even hotter.

I was sad to say goodbye to Stella, but I had a date with a grumpy oaf in Bangkok, and she had to get to Hanoi...... armed with some of my books on War and History of Vietnam and Cambodia, and me armed with a book on past lives and reincarnation (don't you love book swapping?? you just vener know what you are going to get). I finished it on the plane to BKK and left it on the seat for the next lucky traveller.....

SO anyway, I got to BKK airport and found the metered taxi desk (very important) and of course got the driver whose amphetamines had started to wear off.... It's MUCH better if you get them when they've just taken them - their reflexes are much more acute.

Anyway, he was falling asleep and weaving over the road, his head touching the steering wheel from time to time, on top of the highest freeway - so I couldn't stop the cab and get out. Also didn't want to annoy him. They have guns. So I had to partake in that game loved by travellers everywhere - the "talk utter shit to the taxi driver to keep him awake and alert" game. I was also thanking the lord that Traff lives in Sukhmvit and not the other side of the city, which shortened the journey by 45 minutes...... I did ring Trafford (international rates and all) and ask him to tell my family that I love them and I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye, in the event I didn't make it to his place in the next 15 minutes.....

Which I didn't. According to Trafford I "spent too long in Laos". When I finally got inside his place, he was in bed asleep. The conversation went like this:

Kathryn: "Trafford. Why did four security guards just accost me in the foyer and escort me from the premises".

[Trafford opens one eye. Looks me up and down.]

Trafford: "Because. You look like that.".

Kathryn [horrified and indignant]: "I look fine. These are $350 Camper shoes!!"

Trafford: "Umm yeah. The hair? The clothes? The mud? You look like you've spent a week in the back of a ute."

Kathryn: "Well, dur. I've been in Laos".

Trafford: "Have a shower. Get changed".

Kathryn: "Flight delayed too hungry need key going to supermarket back soon".

[Trafford goes back to sleep].

10 minutes later.....

Kathryn: "Why the fuck did I just get escorted from the supermarket for lingering over the hair products aisle??".

Trafford: "Did we not just have this coversation, or did I dream it? Get changed. Have a shower."

Kathryn: "But how can I do that without hair products?"

You get the idea..... I didn't think I looked that bad. I had worn the same pair of trousers for a week but they were the cleanest ones I had. I had a nice shirt on. My hair may have been in pigtails and strapped down with a piece of cloth, but in Laos I looked clean. The Bangkokites are a bit previous though, esp. in the expat area.......... lesson learnt. The next day I upped the dress code a little and wasn't escorted anywhere by anyone. I was almost disappointed.....

I hired a driver and went to the Konchanaburi province - pretty much to the Burmese border. It is a long way, and I could have gone by public transport, but it was a long way away, and I didn't want to much around....

Kathryn on the River Kwai

The Bridge over the River Kwai - which isn't actually the River Kwai at all, but it made for a good title of a book and a movie.... Kwai is Thai for River... LOL.

I really wanted to go to Hellfire Pass and walk it and the 4km trail that's open to the public of the Thai-Burma railway. The Australian government really outdid themselves with the museum at hellfire pass - it's excellent. I was impressed. As with all the war stories I've encountered on my travels, it's a sad and disturbing tale.

It is however set in a beautiful place. I encountered this little man on my walk through the pass....

Due to a huge landslide, the trail was closed at the halfway point unfortunately. The section that was open though was still tough going - steep and slippery but with amazing views and sections of railroad appearing here and there.

This is in Hellfire Pass - the easiest section of the walk.

You can see the old sleepers still.... It was called Hellfire Pass as the men had to work all day and all night, and were so starving that they looked like skeletons. They used bamboo torches to work at night, and the flickering lights made them look like creatures from hell. Also, the flickering lights on the walls made it look like the cavern of Hell. It rose similar feelings in me as standing in Anzac Cove in Gallipoli.

I thought this was really nice - one of the Regiments from Australia who worked on the railway came back in the 80's and relaid this section of the track as a team....

Then, back to Bangkok. I spent the following day preparing for a few days at the beach - books needed to be purchased, sunscreen sourced, and so on. I really upped the dress code, and rode to Emporium on a motorcycle taxi with a Starbucks in one hand, a handback in the other, sidesaddle. Oh yes, I'm a local now......

Vang Vieng to Vientiane - the long (and wet) way round

Well, this was the view from my Vang Vieng bungalow....

Not too shabby, eh....

Even so, it was well and truly time to leave after 36 hours in Vang Vieng, and given there was no way in hell I was getting on another bus in Laos, I was thrilled Stella was keen to kayak as well.

It was pretty wet however, and I know have firsthand experience of Grade 3 rapids - needless to say I spent part of the journey submerged, upside down, in a blender - but I've never laughed so hard.

Especially when we stopped for lunch and watched everyone else fall off too..... and the empty boats and neglected paddles floating past us.....

BBQ Laos Style.....

We turned a four hour bus ride into a nine hour trip,but it was a gorgeous day,and the scenery was stunning. And we didn't drown.....

This was so a stunt shot.I wasn't paddling anywhere. The river was moving so quickly we floated this bit. I LOVE rainy season.....

In fact, it was moving so quickly that we got out of the boat towards the end of the day when it got too hot and just floated to Vientiane.... once the rapids were over, mind.



Today was a lazy, lazy day. I was shattered after days of trekking, caving, boating, kayaking and the discovery of a great French restaurant here in Vientiane that had decent wine (fortunately) by the bottle (unfortunately) - I and Stella were a little slow out of the blocks. We wandered but soon resorted to a tuk tuk and then simply to a small cafe (one of many French style ones in town) where we drank coffee and talked utter shyte for hours.... my idea of a good day....

But we managed to hit Was Siskavet....

The "Arc de Triumph", or the Laos version,anyway- Patoxi:

This is Vientiane - capital, ha! Only 200K people - it don't look like a city to me:

That Luang.....

And that pretty much covered Vientiane's sights, anyway.....

Oh, and a Vietnam flashback for Sam that I found on pub cam!

On Sunday it's Bangkok bound, and back to Chez Trafford for a spell..... before Thailand Part II.

Laos - too much adventure?

After lieing to Laos immigration (and yes Mr Holier than Thou travel agent, I know it was wrong), they let me in (I managed to hide the hacking cough and running nose, and disguised the fever with a tonne of Panadol....) and so began interesting times in Laos - which are set to continue for a few days at least....



Walking onto the tarmac and looking at the Laos Air "aircraft" (a stretch) and it's twin propellers was definitely an indication of what was to come - as was Trafford's look of shock when I said I was off to Laos - and his one-word "Why??". So, it's a developing country - but that's not their fault. Getting the crap bombed out of them for years in the Indochina War wasn't their fault.... the people are nice though, the trekking is phenomenally good and I've met some awesome people (and had a lot of good coffee). In all - a win in my book.




First stop was Luang Prabang - it was off the twin prop, and straight into the back of a ute (I'm now a pro at flinging bag and self into fast moving, run down mini-utes). Of course, I booked my accommodation on the internet, but old mate at the Guest House only checks his about once a week, so they didn't have my booking, but luckily there was room - and the guest house was awesome. Souk Lan Sang Guesthouse is right on the Mekong - Luang Prabang is on a neat little peninsula between the Mekong and Nam Phong rivers - and I had a great old style Lao teak villa to call my own. I wandered into town - and it is a pretty town made up of colonical style houses and old Lao teak houses - Unesco protected so no crap lying around or crappy signs - and wallowed in the sunshine (which was shortlived). Great restaurants, great coffee, great food - touristy but not like Vietnam or Thailand....




Enter two days of unstopping rain. I was ready to committ a crime by the end of it - and in fact managed to get into a bit of trouble (but, I maintain, I am not a stalker). Even my sister said "This is the third time you've rang me this week. Are you bored?". Thanks Sarah, I've missed you too, as you've clearly missed me. (Note: There was a reason for each call, not general chit chat). So bored in fact that I've hand ample time to extend my stay away and find a few exciting things to do en route on the way home......

This is the only photo that I could take in Luang Prabang town without drowing a) myself or b) my camera. It is a ..... temple! You'll just have to take my word on the rest of the town's beauty....

Finallly! The rain stopped! And my trek that was cancelled twice finally went ahead... and it was worth the wait.It was muddy, and overcast, but nice and cool - as the trek was pretty hard work uphill, and even harder work downhill not to slip and slide... well, there was plenty of that anyway....

My transport here in Laos - and this is a good looking ute, I can assure you.....

The trek started at a Hmong Village in the hills around Luang Prabang.... I've never seen kids have so much fun with an empty bottle and a puddle of water.....

Supervising her brothers... oh I've seen this look on a sister's face before.....

Walking through the hills, rice paddies, fields, and jungle was really pretty......

But the pictures don't do it justice. This is Laura and Rob from Canada. We ended up spending the next couple of days together and had a lot of fun....

Lunch - prepared Laos style. Banana leaves make great plates...

This was my favourite part of the day. We trekked up and down mountains for hours and hours, and finally we got to the top of the Kuang Si waterfall. All of the rain the preceding days meant that we had to walk down the waterfall.... literally. It was four times as big as it normally is.....

There weren't as many waterfalls as Iguazu, but this one was as loud, as powerful, and I got as wet as I was in Argentina and Brazil.....

....but much, much dirtier.... my trekking shoes are going to need to be piffed before I leave SE Asia - there is no way Australia is going to let them in. For a start that cute little beagle will die.

The vegetation was stunning..... I saw so many fruit and vegetable plants that I didn't even begin to imagine - star fruit, peanuts... and about 25 varieties of pot plants (now I know where they come from)....

Crossing this part of the waterfall had my imagination commentate "Tragedy strikes in Laos earlier today when 6 tourists, 1 Australian, were caught in rapids as a result of heavy rains and drowned".... Trust me it looks worse than it is....

Where I was staying was Wat Central, and it was prayer time as I staggered home from trekking, covered in mud....

A market can be just a market, but the Luang Prabang one was pretty special. At night the main street is blocked off and hundreds of these stalls are set up by the local hill tribes.... the result is pretty.

I dragged my sorry arse out of bed at 5:20am - barely able to move after the previous day - to see the giving of alms to the monks. This happens everyday - the monks are offered all their food by the local people at dawn, or thereabouts..... There are about 2000 monks in town, and they walk through the town collecting offerings from the locals...

....who diligiently sit and wait for an hour or two.....

It was pretty special and I tried not to get in their way....

The monks also give some of the food away to the ill, poor and children - some of whom walk alongside them....

Shortly after this - I got on the bus to Vang Vieng. Or Vientiane - I wasn't really sure.... but it ended up being Vang Vieng.... I'd heard the trekking was good... But I was not at all prepared for the bus ride. I had some bad experiences in South America - but this was by far and away, the absolute worst. A certain motorcyclist who is riding from Melbourne to London would have had a lot of fun on this road, I think - but in a bus, no. It was a vomit inducing ride to hell. Aiming straight for cows and not braking. Not braking in general. Accelarating on the wrong side of the road around blind corners with a steep drop off. Going over corrugations so fast that my head hit the cieling - AND I'm only 5 foot 4. The landscape was stunning - which is a shame, as I couldn't enjoy it. We stopped for lunch - well I see why it was included as there wasn't a whole lot of eating going on. I was greener than green, and had popped enough pills to tranquilise an elephant. I got off at Vang Vieng, thankful for my life and vowing never to get on a Laos bus again. I was going to worry about how that meant I was going to get across the rest of the country later.

The first thing I did was book a trek, and start planning how to get the hell out of there (see previous entry regarding the obnoxious English and happy, magic type food - which I see now why - people have it before the bus to make it bearable).

Another fabulous trek - with some caving thrown in. I am truly exhausted tonight... It had rained all night and I got up with dread, but we ended up with a cool but eventually sunny day - joy!

These limestone cliffs are all around the town.... and we walked up, down and around them, and in and out of all the caves around....

Some are temples....

....lot's of people working - they asked us to help out - but I wasn't too keen on this backbreaking labour. These guys are all subsistence farmers - so this is their life and food....

Very cool caves - we went inside up to 300m - 500m. Some of the spaces were tight - but there were huge galleries as well - I've never seen anything like it....

Mushrooms for breakfast, was it Kathryn?

Buddha.... at the Hoi Cave....

These karsts went on and on....

More kids... it's Laos school holidays, so they are everywhere....

I got really lucky - I met some great people on the trek - so we went tubing together this afternoon. Tubing in Vang Vieng is normally the domain of the obnoxious 18 year olds mentioned earlier - but we decided to hit the rapids. The Luang Prabang waterfall was huge - well, the river was even huger. I don't know what I was thinking.... the first 300m was pure, white water, terror. Again, "Tragedy strikes today in Laos, when four tourists, one Australian drown in fast moving currents as a result of heavy rains.....". But it was fine - once we turned the first corner it slowed down, and I only bashed my hands and knees a few times on rocks, cliffs, tree branches - and didn't hit my head at all. I do not know how others do it pissed, and high (there are makeshift bars the .... not my problem though.

Luckily the kids are on school holidays - they had to fish me out at the end, or by now I'd be in Vientiane. I wasn't the only one though!

So sunburnt and sore and sorry after a big day, we went out for dinner tonight. I've met Stella - a great Irish girl - and we ended up having dinner with a former Buddhist monk who now teaches philosophy - really interested guy. Stella wanted to go to Vientiane as well, and didn't want to get back on that bus either (it turns out we were on the same one). So, we are taking the river instead and kayaking to Vientiane instead tomorrow morning . I'm really looking forward to it - it's an all day affair - and I think when a novice kayaker chooses to kayak 50km to a town rather than take a 4 hour bus ride - that's an indication of the road safety standards.... If all goes well, I'll write next from there!!