In a Bang-koma

Well, I've landed at my mates apartment (sorry "condo") in Bangkok and I write this having emerged from a 48 hour coma to recover from a few weeks in Vietnam and Cambodia... The pile of Starbucks and Au Bon Pain detritus beside me indicates I've been wallowing in blatant consumerism after a tough few weeks. Trafford told me to leave my washing for the "maid" to do in the morning - but I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Everything is putrid. I've never been so dirty - not sure how much of it is psychological from seeing all the prostitution, child labour, dog meat and fried spiders (what a deliciously hairy snack) for sale, and how much is real dirt, but I feel vile. Vile. And have forgotten how to operate said white good after 5 months of not having to operate one....

I also haven't made any plans for the next month - none - so unless I pull my digit out and sort something out, Traff will have a housemate for a month (which is tempting. It's like a 5 star hotel here)..... Although Trafford still enjoys teasing me relentlessly (flippant remarks I make are constantly challenged - it's really quite tiring) and he generally is a narky old bollocks (I can see now why we broke up) and he's looking for a job (aren't we all?) and he is ever so slightly self absorbed (note sarcasm).... I can write this here because I can assure you, he doesn't give a damn, and I've told him all this already. I'm just providing Starbucks at regular intervals and hoping for the best.... it's like sharing quarters with a large, mythical and misunderstood creature. I've just been reeducated on how global warming is a load of shyte (Jesus Calvin, remember the Dick Smith debacle of 2004 - mother of God, this was worse) and my head is so full I've had to put on Titanic to recover.... in spite of all this though, it is a lot of fun. Although in true Trafford style, slightly offbeat, very eccentric and moderately dangerous fun.....

I last left you in Nha Trang, post boat cruise. Nha Trang is a nice beachside place, but has a gritty, sleazy feel that leaves you a little uncomfortable - the boat cruise was fun:

......cruising past islands, fish, great seafood on board, massages on board. But, some fucker robbed me either while I was swimming, or at the bikini wax place after I got back. They were crafty, and as a result 500,000 Dong richer. In all though I've had a charmed trip, so if that's the worst that happens, I can live with that.

In Nha Trang we hit the Sailing Club on Saturday night - a big open air beach party - I can advise that it wasn't anywhere near as good as the Ministry of Sound in Hurghada (I thought I was too old for that sort of thing, but Hurghada proved I definitely wasn't - I think going with a queen however is a clubbing must), but it sure was entertaining. The DJ was American and his ego was far too large for the continent, let alone the club. There were Australians there drunk enough and embarrassing enough for me to pretend to be Swedish. Having been robbed already once for the day, I was more than a little cautious........ but, made it home safely. And even managed to escort (carry actually) a fellow comatose traveller who was more than a little under the weather....

I ditched the group the next day for some Much Needed Kathryn Blood Dragon alone time, and checked out some of the local sites:

In your average buddhist country, ie Vietnam, sites generally means "buddhas" - giant sitting buddha overlooking Nha Trang at Long Son Pagoda.......

And of course, no Pagoda would be complete without a reclining buddha as well....

The Cham Towers were built between the 7th and 12th centuries and used by Hindus for worship, which made a nice Buddhist-break.....

And the walk back to the hotel, sweaty as it was, yielded some nice photos over the Cai River.....

Though I did give in at this point and take a cab from here. Dying of dehydration was probably not a good look.....

I haven't written about the overnight trains yet.... I took one from Ha Noi to Hue, then a
day train which was still in a sleeper cabin from Hoi An to Nha Trang. Both were full of cockroaches, bugs, general rubbish, with snotty tissues being a particular specialty (in these swine flu times, this was causing great upset up and down the carriages). And these were the first class carriages. If you're interested I'll tell you about the toilets. It's not for the wary though - you know it's bad when you choose a squat toilet over a Western toilet, to minimise contact with hard surfaces as much as possible. For some reason unknown to me, it really didn't bother me. I think I was so tired and high on drugs for each trip that I just laid down and made the most of the rest.... books and ipods are on my altar of worship, not buddhas.

As far as books go, by the time I boarded the overnight train from Nha Trang to Saigon, I'd read about 3 Vietnam war books, as well as First They Killed My Father and The Girl in the Picture. I shared a room with Claire one night and the next day she sheepishly asked if I was OK - I'd apparently been fighting a war in my sleep, floating through pools of dead bodies and avoiding land mines. I went back to chick lit for a while after that....

I was surprised that I really, really liked Saigon as much as I did. I know that we're supposed to call it Ho Chi Minh City now, but no one there does, and they don't expect us to either. Breakfast after disembarking was a big bowl of Vietnamese Soup at Pho 2000 - the place of President "I did not have relations with that girl" Clinton's breakfast, and a fact they were obviously very proud of.

Saigon also bought with it some access to Western pleasures - coffee. Real coffee. I could have got in and swam around. I've never enjoyed anything as much as my first real coffee since HK with Sarah Louise.

Wandering around, I was proud to have found the Reunification Palace:

Then that afternoon I was disappointed to discover that this was Reunification Palace:

This building redefines ugly. What on earth were they thinking? (Please don't put me in jail). Fascinating history though - we saw the nerve centre of where the President discussed the strategy of the South Vietnamese efforts during the War, and of course where the tanks rolled in and destroyed the building on the day Saigon fell, and the tanks themselves...

That afternoon I went to the War Remnants Museum - a one-sided of course, but probably fair and accurate, exhibition of the lead up to, the activities during, and the aftermath of the Vietnamese War, and a lot of war toys. It was shocking, and not for the faint hearted. Vets walk in and straight back out, and I can see why. Foetuses affected by agent orange, and hundreds of thousands of pictures tell a shocking story.....

To recover from this, I wandered around downtown Saigon in the early evening until I found the blind massage place. A strange, but enjoyable experience - the blind administering massages - better than begging, and they do a great job.

I thought I'd miss the Mekong Delta in Vietnam, but was really lucky that Mr T-rong made it possible for us.....

It was an early start when we hit the Mekong River after about 4 hours driving out of Saigon.... I was a particular fan of the floating markets.....

...and thought it was as good a time as any to have a go at making rice paper in one of the villages. Kathryn Blood Dragon won't be getting a job as a Vietnamese Rice Paper Maker anytime soon....

We got in some small boats to trip around the smaller islands in the delta, just in time for the monsoon. It was a very wet and dreary bunch that got back into the car to head back to Saigon. I tried to give our driver a lesson in use of the air conditioning thermostat - it was not well recieved. We froze.

I also got to try Vietnamese dead-bird-and-snake wine. Yes, with a dead bird and snakes floating in it. Once was enough.... and then T-rong told me it was Vietnamese Viagra. Ha ha, very funny.


Once thawed, it was time to hit Saigon for our last night in the country. I've seen things, many things in my travels, but nothing prepared me for Westerners that have spent way too long in the oversexed parts of SE Asia. One lad from London and I had a discussion about the appropriateness of him putting one hand down the back of my pants and one hand on my breast when he came over to introduce himself - he couldn't see anything wrong with it, I saw no problem in administering a physical reprimand. I've discussed this with Trafford since my arrival - he agrees that after too long in that environment, the lines become a bit blurry for some. Thereafter, the influx of small children into the pub selling things was also a bit shocking - these kids should have been at home in bed asleep, having been read a nice story, to be ready in time for school in the morning. Unfortunately for most kids in South Vietnam and Cambodia, that is not the case. So between being assaulted by a Westerner who should know better and being saddened by child exploitation, it was time to leave the pub.


The next day it was time to head straight for the Cambodian border - with a stop at the Cu Chi tunnels on the way.....

Cu Chi was one of the largest tunnel complexes created by the Viet Cong in the Vietnam War (well, even before then actually during the French colonised times, and made much larger in the war). They were fascinating - tiny and I can't believe people lived in them, and fought in them, for year....

....and at the shooting range there I got to fire an AK47. I'm terrified of guns - absolutely terrified - but it's basically an unfounded fear, seeing as I've never touched one... and I won't be again. If this pic was taken from the front and you could read my lips, I'd just fired it and was screaming "far......k". There will be absolutely no need for me to do that ever again. The lads of course thought it was hilarious.

What was even scarier was the barking mad American dude who came to use the M16 next to me, on automatic, with about 8000 rounds (are they called rounds??) - Vietnamese safety standards are not up there with Australian ones, and I thought "It'd be just my luck to be here when some nutter goes apeshit with an automatic weapon. Time to leave". It's two weeks later now, and I just have my hearing back.......

I was sad to leave Vietnam. The food was awesome - 10 times better than Vietnamese food in Australia, which I thought was pretty good! And surprisingly clean with regard to food, toilets and general hygiene (with the exception of the trains that we shall not speak of. Thank God for Stilnox).

Borders are borders everywhere - one of my pet hates travelling is border crossings overland. We had to walk a couple of k's to get over the border - and generally it is the land of the beggars, the lame, the lepers and the children to pickpocket you and harass you, especially in the no man's land area, where there are no rules.... I was surprised that the V-Cambodia border was quiet, safe, and had nothing of the sort. But that was not a taste of things to come.......